Today has been one of those typical, routine days –at least on the surface. But, inside? Well, I’ve had that steady drumbeat of sadness and pain mixed with hope and peace.
Dear, dear sis, today is your Heaven Birthday! We all miss you so much and I wish so bad you were here. But Big Brother says he doesn’t want to demote you from your celestial splendor and have you come back to this world of suffering just because we miss you here. He says that you are in such a better place. I know he’s right, but that doesn’t take away my gut-churning, heartwrenching emptiness you left in my heart.
So for now dear sis, I’ll wipe my tears and send you a big hug. Yes, a super big long, long hug.
And while I’m sending you a hug, here’s another hug I’m sending to our other sister, and also our baby sister. Please give them hugs from me. And, may the three of you, along with dad and the rest of our family there, have a great big party in heaven celebrating the greatness and goodness of God, enjoying your Heaven Birthday.
And me? I’ve been crying –a lot (as usual). I wipe my streaming tears. They keep coming. I step outside and look up with hope that maybe just maybe, I can see a sneak-peak of your celebration.
Wait. Look there! Yes, I see it. Through the teary blur I see the brilliant rainbow radiate and fill the skies with a glow that lights up my own hope. Oh yes! It’s beautiful. It’s your birthday party and it’s spilling over into my world. For a moment I smile through my tears and soak in the peaceful beauty of hope.
As I stand there looking up to heaven I remember that while I’m broken, the light of God’s everlasting love refracts around us and creates beauty out of pain and rainbows out of tears.
There is strength in brokenness. (Isaiah 54:17)
Beautiful In Time 