My Dance

I danced with Jesus today.

Before I go further in telling you about my dance, let me open the window of my life wide enough to give you a sneak-peak into the loneliness I was struggling with after Rudolph’s sudden and unexpected death.

There are no words to describe the sheer shock and complete emptiness I felt after the loss of my husband, nor can I begin to convey the agonizing pain of laying him to rest on the weekend of our 27th wedding anniversary. I get a deep nauseating, sick churning, in the very pit of my soul when I’m reminded. After all, my world changed that day and it will never be the same no matter how desperately I might try to hold on to the past.

I wanted it to be the good old normal I had lived with for so much of my life. Instead, I went from having a bustling vibrant house full of people, activities, music, love, laughter, and companionship, to a year later hearing nothing more than the deafening silence of aloneness. I went from living in the heart of one of the world’s most bustling metropolitan areas to a sleepy moldy neighborhood along a riverbank.

It was there, in the in the midst of all this pain and loneliness, on a Saturday morning that I played music in the background as I cleaned the kitchen. I swept and mopped the white tile floor, and I wiped a tear. I cleaned. The music played. The tears flowed. I watched my tears splatter on the white tiles. The mop swished them. The music played on.

Then solfty an old familiar tune started to play. I paused and listened. My heart melted and swelled up at the same time. The lyrics and rhythm filled the room, “Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus. It’s so vast and unmeasured, so boundless and free…”

As I listened to the song I started dancing.  Barefooted I moved acrossed the white wet tiles, then I raised my hands and danced to the music as the lyrics wrapped around me, “Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus…”

As I worshipped Him, I  felt Him draw closer to me. And then He embraced me. As the song played in the background I felt the deep deep love of Jesus surround me and comfort me. He filled me with calm and assurance in an unexplainable way.

There are no words to capture the depth and height of His love. It is so vast, so unmeasurable, so boundless,  so free.

So indescribable is the love that Jesus has given to me. I could never have made it along this journey without the peace, comfort, and healing I find in Him.

Oh the deep deep love of Jesus. There are no words to explain the assurance He brings. There is nothing as valuable as  the priceless love of Jesus. Oh how I love Jesus.

 I danced with Jesus today.